Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day 8 Blog Christmas Challenge

Happy Tuesday Everyone!! :-)
I am excited today because I get to take Christmas photos of one of my favorite little dudes!! My cousin Angela and I are driving up north a little bit and I am going to take Noah's Christmas pictures. Well hopefully she can use them for Christmas...let's all just pray some of the photos come out good :)

Now on to the Christmas Challenge...It is Day 8 already only a couple more days till this challenge is over. Man, tmie sure flies around here. Before I know it we will be in 2011!!!

Day 8: Least Favorite Thing About The Holidays

Holidays in my family are not what they used to be. Reason being, my brother died 5 years ago...this will be our 6th Christmas without him. And I know people say it gets easier, and yes it does. It get easier to live our daily lives, but the holidays actually get harder for me. This year actually has been the hardest by far. I am not sure if it is because we are in Texas and away from the rest of our families, but no matter the details...I am missing my brother so much this holiday season. I think I have been numb to the holidays since Erich died. I think I try to pretend it isn't really a holiday season because he isn't here to share it with.

Ever since it was the holiday season this year...probably around Halloween (not a holiday I know), it has been hard for me. I miss Erich so much. All Christmas songs make me tear up. THinking about opening gifts Christmas morning, makes me tear up. Knowing we will be in Texas Christmas morning and not with my other two sisters, makes me tear up. Knowing he won't be here with us this year makes me tear up.

It is strange though that this year is the hardest for me. Erich was my best friend. He was the one person I could tell everything too and know I wouldn't be judged. I would give anything to have him here this year with us. It is hard because soon hubby and I will have our own little family and Erich won't be here to share in that joy with us.

I remember growing up, momma would go downstairs and get Erich out of bed. But in the meantime, Aarika and I would have to wait at the top of the stairs until she was finished getting him in his wheelchair. Once we heard his chair coming down the hallway, we would rush down the stairs so we could be the first ones to see all the gifts :) Then momma would make us open gifts one by one so Christmas would end up lasting a couple hours. One of my favorite and most missed memories of Erich is after each gift was opened we would stick our tongues out and make a silly noise. I know that may sounds completely weird and silly to all of you, but if you knew my brother that was something he always did when he was happy. And I miss hearing that more than words could ever explain. He did it all the time, but he exaggerated it when gifts were being opened. Erich loved Christmas time because we got together with all the family...both momma and daddy-o's sides. Holidays were always fun growing up. But just not the same without him. He is in my thoughts every.single.day. This Christmas is going to be hard for me, I have accepted that. I hope it gets easier, but like I said above...the holidays for me are getting harder not having him around and hearing his excitement.

As the years go on, as time goes by, as hubby and I have a family of our own...I will always remember Erich and the 21 Christmas' I got to share with him. Those were the best years...
Erich I love you and miss you!!

Even though the holiday season isn't always all smiles and happiness, I know Erich is watching down on us. I know he wouldn't want us to be sad. I know he would want us to carry on the same traditions as we always have...such as the silly noise he made :) And we will do all that for him every year. Maybe I'll even teach my kids it, and they can carry it on...what do you think Erich? I know you would be proud if they did :)

Happy Holidays!!!



Morgan Paige said...

I hope the holidays can be happy time for you this year!
Thank you for sharing this sweet, but sad, story.

Katie said...

I know how you feel. I lost my mom 10 years ago and the holidays are always a struggle for me. I will be thinking of you! :)

The Wife In Her New Life said...

What a sweet post - thank you for sharing a little about your brother. I do hope the holidays wil be a happy time for you, it sound like your brother would want it that way.

Suze said...

Awww thanks for sharing this sweet but sad story! Hope the holidays can be better or more happy this year , its never easy but just think of the happy times you've shared together and laugh about the good funny times as well! I have a family friend who lost her brother a week after she got married suddenly and she just had a baby and they named him after her brother! Perhaps you can carry on Erichs name in memory of him that way if you have a little boy one day!! I'll be thinking of you and your family during the holidays and praying for you all! Have fun taking pictures of Noah today though :)

Kate said...

You actually made me cry. My husband's sister died of cancer when she was 26 years old. I never met her. Bryan's family will always be changed by this loss, as you know... and I miss the fact that I didn't get a chance to love my sister-in-law in person. Everyday is different without her, but holidays are the hardest.... Take care!

Caroline said...

Such a sweet post for your brother. Losing a loved one is never easy and the holidays always make you miss them more and more. Prayers for you and I know your brother is shining down on you and smiling.

Eric's Mommy said...

So sweet. I'm so sorry about your brother, it sounds like you guys had a very special relationship. I will stick out my tongue and make a silly noise after I open my presents this year just for him :)

Lindsi said...

You have such sweet memories of your brother! Thanks for sharing them with us. Can you imagine the Christmas celebration he will be having in Heaven? Getting to celebrate Jesus' birthday in His very prescence?! Gives me chills to think about.