Thursday, November 11, 2010

I Miss It...A Lot

First and foremost today is November 11th and that means it is one of my favorite little girlies birthdays. Well I guess I can't say she is a little girlie anymore because she is 10 years old today...two hands :) I remember the day when you couldn't wait to be two hands, now I am three years from six hands, ahaha!! :-D I have known Morgan since she was barely two years old. She and her momma and her little sister are some of my favorite people in the entire world. I love them all so much.
Happy 10th Birthday Morgan!! I miss you and I'll see you soon, I promise :-)

I never thought I would be saying this for others to read or hear...ever!! I really miss my old job. My old job was working with family at a vocational allied health school. I started there as an Administrative Assistant and then eventually became the Human Resource Manager. Well I was there, working, a total of 9 years. But I have been part of the company family
I started working there right after I graduated high school and I just left a couple days before I got married in July. I always had my ups and downs when it came to working with family. I did complain. A lot. But there were a lot of perks too, which always outweighed the bad. Always. I didn't enjoy hearing about work 24/7. I didn't like seeing my parents at work. I felt like they knew everything I did. Not that I do bad things, but you know you don't want your parents over your shoulder.
I always talked about the day that I would leave. How excited I would be to finally get out of there. To finally move on with my life. To have a job where I didn't have to hear about things once I left the office. Well that day came on July 14th and can I tell you I regret it more than I ever thought. My dad always told me I would hate to work for someone other than him...well I have to agree with him now :(  StarB isn't a bad place to work, I am just making 2/3 less than I did working in California for this company.
I made the decision to leave. To try something new. To start over. I have to say this is the biggest mistake of my life. I should never have left. I feel like I put pressure on hubby and I now that I am not making good money. I feel like it is my fault we are struggling financially. I feel like I should have just sucked it up and stayed working there until I found something better. I should not have just left with no replacement job. I should not have let my frustrations get to me. I should have just stayed put. It wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. I now realize that.

I miss getting up at 5:30am to work out before work.
I miss getting dressed professionally for work (I now wear a black or white polo/black cargos/black tennis).
I miss getting my morning StarB and banana breakfast for my 45 minute drive.
I miss getting to work and everyone greeting me with huge smiles.
I miss having random lunches with Daddy-o.
I miss the ladies I regularly chatted with about life (my other mommas)
I miss having an office with a desk and a computer and filing cabinets.
I miss using my knowledge from school.
I miss being challenged at work.
I miss getting a nice paycheck.
I miss working with family ( did I just admit it again???).
I miss having a 9-5 job.
I miss CLC.

I wish I could go back. Maybe not to HR again, as they have an amazing lady who took over. But maybe to something else. Something else that will challenge me. That will make me work hard. That will allow me to bring home decent money.
I freely and willingly admit that I made a huge mistake by quitting. I freely and willingly admit that I made a huge mistake by not having another job before I quit. I freely and willingly admit that I made a huge mistake to leave a great job, with great benefits, and a great boss. I freely and willingly admit I should not have left California.
I made a mistake, daddy-o and momma. I admit it to the world.
What else can I do?? How else can I tell you I made a mistake??
You know I am an extremely hard worker. I will do anything you ask of me. I work my butt off to prove it to everyone that I deserve my place in the company and didn't just get my job because Im the boss' daughter, it may have helped but it doesn't guarantee it.
I miss it...



Tami said...

I've been there! It's definitely true that hindsight is 20-20. Wishing you the best of luck that things work out!

Smiling is Good for Your Teeth said...

I know that it is hard to admit that you made a mistake. Good for you. I hope things work out! I hope they give it back to you :-)

Angela said...

I hope everything ends up well for you. Just don't blame Texas! You might have been in the same boat in California, since you quit before you decided to move. Who knows? Maybe you will get your dream job here, maybe not. Don't give up on your dream!

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