Monday, October 15, 2012

went to the doctor on tuesday afternoon. my blood pressure was up. i get so anxious and nervous every time i go there. i was really hoping for some relief. some good news.

i didn't get it.

the cyst didn't go away. it actually didn't even shrink. ugh! was my feeling the instant i saw it on the ultrasound. the doctor was at a loss for words. not really sure what to say or what to do. he says he has never seen someone grow so many cysts. in such a short time. that are so large.

oh goodie. glad i get to be the lucky one.

he recommended we need to see a specialist. an infertility doctor who has seen women with similar situations. he just doesn't know what to do anymore. he doesn't know how to get us to a point where we can start preparing for children.

with the cyst not going away. it isn't allowing my body to ovulate properly, if at all. we left a little frustrated. at a loss. i was down in the dumps...a bit.

fast forward to friday morning at about 4:45.

i woke up to pee. went to lay back down and about 3 minutes in i started feeling pain in my left ovary. very uncomfortable pain. so i switched positions hoping it would go away. it didn't. i thought a warm shower might help. it didn't. as soon as i got out of the shower i was in pain. like a shit load of pain. pain i had never felt before i my life.

i tried to be strong. but i couldn't pretend. i laid down on the bed. couldn't lay on either side. couldn't stretch my legs out. the pain was getting worse. nothing was relieving it. i started to cry. tony was at a loss. he had no idea what to do. it began radiating down my leg and into my lower back.

i just laid there in tears. trying to get comfortable.

all of a sudden i felt the need to go #2. i tried to sit on the toilet, but my word that was so painful!! i had to hold myself up. one hand on the counter, the other on the wall. i couldn't sit.

i went and laid back down thinking it would be better. not one bit. i cried. tony was laying next to me trying to make it better. i wanted to call the dr but i don't have his private numbers...obviously. i didn't want to rush to the er. {in hindsight, i probably should have} the pain was just terrible. i really had never felt anything like this.

tony asked if i wanted to go to the er. i was being stubborn and said no. well this is about 20 minutes in and nothing is helping. he went to go get me a motrin. came back and all that was coming out of my mouth, i thinking my ovary is going to die. i bet it is twisted or torsed or the cyst popped. we won't ever be able to have kids now. i need to go to the er! ::tears pouring down my face::

i took the motrin. my wonderful husband was trying to make me feel better and get the terrible thoughts out of my head. he jumped in the shower and then the plan was to head to the er.

i felt the need to relieve myself yet again. this was the 3rd time. i had to hold myself up again. couldn't sit down. as i was sitting there, the pressure and pitching and pain began to go away. i didn't feel 100% but i felt much better.

i didn't look like a ghost. or like i was dying from pain. i got my strength back. i hopped in the shower again, hoping it would help. and it did. a lot!

this whole fiasco last about 45 min. yes, i was in this level 7-8 pain for 45 min and the idiot that i am didn't rush to the er.

i went to work, so my co-worker/instructor could scan be before i called the dr. i wanted to make sure there was something worth the dr looking at before i paid almost $200. since at this point i felt better.

the first words out of her mouth were wow, it's much bigger! ok great! more good news.

result: my left ovary is alive. cyst is larger. 8cm by 6.5cm. yup!! it is huge. i have a mini cantaloupe inside my pelvic area. have i mentioned my stomach is super distended. cannot even button my jeans.

my co-worker wrote up a report and i read it to my dr, whom she knows. pretty much it is way large. it definitely twisted or torsed but lucky for me relieved itself pretty quick. it bled inside itself. dr put me on provera for 10 days. until i see the infertility dr on the 22nd.

it was so physically and emotionally draining. words seriously cannot fully explain what that 45 minutes felt like.

i am on almost bed rest, dr orders. cannot do much walking. nothing physical whatsoever. i cannot chance this happening again. i am so careful now with everysinglething i do. i feel like back in january when i had surgery. getting up so slowly. maneuvering so slowly.

at work i can just sit. at school i can just sit. that's about it. nothing more.

i am praying for this new dr to know what to do. to help tony and i get this figured out. to move forward somehow. one week and im hoping we have some answers.


Eric's Mommy said...

Oh Lindsay, I am SO sorry you are going through this. You are so strong. I am thinking about you.

Kate said...

Lindsay! I was in pain... for you.... while reading this. You poor thing. This is just too much and you are too young. Your doctor is right to send you to a specialist. A regular gyno can't handle all cases. Although your doctor probably made you feel like you're the only person out there who this has happened too, I know you're not. A specialist will calm your worries and assist you in getting where you want to be... a mother. It'll happen. It. Will. Happen!

Natalia Lynn said...

Oh Linds!! That's awful, I am so sorry you had to go through all that pain! I will definitely be praying for you that you can get through this and that everything will be okay. You'll be an AMAZING mother some day, just stay strong! Love you!

Smiling is Good for Your Teeth said...

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry that you are going through this! What a terrible experience! All of my thoughts and prayers are going your way!

Sara Lynn said...

Praying for you during this difficult time! Hopefully the pain will subside and the new dr will know exactly how to help you!

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