Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Hospital Stories

Doing my externship at a hospital has been nothing short of amazing. The hospital I am at, is not a county hospital, but it is pretty darn close. Most patients do not speak a lick of English or have extremely broken English, where communication is difficult. Most patients do not have insurance. Most patients are illegals.
So needless to say I have had to keep my mouth shut, my opinions to myself, and have had to learn some broken Spanish in order to communicate.

Here is a little peek into a typical night at the hospital....

~pregnant women come into the ER for abdominal or pelvic pain. They get seen by the nurse/doctor, who then requests an ultrasound. We bring them in to scan, ask what is wrong, and they say they have pain. As soon as we put the probe on their abdomen, the pain is gone and all they care about it what the sex is. How far along they really are, and when the baby is due. No more pain. Just a free visit....

~ mom brings her 8 month old into the ER for 'crankiness', crying a lot, may be constipated. As we are scanning the baby's abdomen, she starts crying. The mom asks if we can wait a minute while she gives her a bottle. She picks up a bottle full of bright blue 'juice'. The other tech asks what is in the bottle. Oh it's powerade. Come again?!?! Both our eyes got huge. No wonder your baby is having stomach troubles and is constipated... Who the f**k gives an 8 month old powerade?!?!??! That baby is destined to be obese...

~ an 18 year old is in the hospital for pelvic pain and spotting. She is 21 weeks pregnant. The doctor orders an addominal scan to see the estimated weight of the baby and a cervical length exam {which is done with a vaginal probe}. All is good on the abdomen, but when it comes time for the vaginal exam she gets a little squirmy. Becomes a drama queen. We ask if she is allergic to latex...says she doesn't think so, but goes into this long explanation about how she could be. So ok...we don't use latex. We tell her she will feel pressure, but it won't hurt. The probe isn't even a few centimeters in and she freaks out. Says it hurts so so bad. Ok, we pull out. She says it burns. The probe is too big. Umm excuse me?? The probe is too big??? You are freakin' pregnant!! How is the probe too big??? Feel sorry for her boyfriend, don't think he'll be gettin' any action. Ever again....

~ a 19 year old comes in to find out how far along she is because she doesn't know if she wants to keep the baby. We do a vaginal exam and notice her uterus looks a little different. We ask her history and she tells us she has a 3 year old, she had an abortion last Nov and then another this past Feb. I know I am in the medical field and have to keep my opinions to myself, but for real. Stop spreading your legs. Stop having sex. If you can't, use a freakin' condom and get on birth control!!! I don't know much about how abortions are done, but I can imagine if you keep having them because it's the easy way out, it would mess up your reproductive system. Just sayin'.

to be continued....

3 comments:

Caitlin said...

Ooh my goodness, I know there are people out there like this, but good Lord. It makes me sad and sick.

Can't get over the powerade thing...

I pray our society isn't all this dumb.

Smiling is Good for Your Teeth said...

Oh jeeze! People can be so weird!

Kristina said...

Oh my goodness. People are nuts. The Powerade thing is crazy. I was at dinner the other night when 2 parents gave their 6month old a tortilla chip. The poor baby began to choke! People jumped up to help. The parents got her up out the high chair and flipped her until the spit it out. People are cray!