Yup, I have now completed 2 rounds of Clomid. Four months of tracking everything.
I have one round left. March is the last month of us trying 'naturally' with Clomid. If there is no baby by then, we are told to do IVF. Those
The money issue is a huge concern. The risk of it not working the first time. Having to pay for it a second round. The hormones and such that mess with your body. I hear it does wonders...
So can I just say I am beyond frustrated.
Trying so hard to be positive.
Not to think about it all.the.damn.time., but it is so hard!!!
How do you not get frustrated or discouraged or angry or jealous? How? I need help with this!
I so badly want to be a momma. And Tony to be a dad. He so badly wants it. He always asks me when I am going to give him a baby. Honestly, that breaks my heart. I am strong and cheerful when I respond. But in my mind, all I think about is how it is all my fault.
It is my fault, my health issues, my body that isn't giving him a kid.
It sucks! Big time!
Personally, I only know one person going through similar issues. She is actually much further along in the process...IVF... She is the only one who truly knows what I am going through. She is the only one who I can related to. Ask for advice. Ask for encouragement. Complain and bitch to. We have our days. Bad ones. Those days make me want to stay in bed and cry. We all have those feel sorry for me days, I just don't express them too often. To anyone.
I just want to know why. Why is this happening to me?? I hate asking that, or even
I am a healthy person. I eat healthy. I work out. But in the end, that doesn't really mean anything when it comes to getting pregnant. So I have learned. It just doesn't matter. There is something not working inside my body. I have endometriosis...bad. I only have one ovary. That alone makes the odds not in my favor. Maybe something else is wrong. Maybe my uterus isn't competent to hold a baby. To allow a fertilized egg to stick. But in due time, I will find out.
Being on Clomid hasn't really affected me. I don't noticed much of a change in my attitude, moods, or anything else. Which I am so grateful for because I have heard it can really screw with your body. I just wish these five little pills would work their magic.
I know I probably have said this before, but I just never would have thought I would be at this point. So close to possibly needing IVF. Having so much trouble getting pregnant. I never in a million years even thought about it. Who does!??! You think have unprotected sex...get pregnant. Guess it isn't that easy for everyone. Myself included.
So yea...that's where we are at with babymaking. I hope to have good news before March. So positive thoughts, prayers, good vibes...whatever you do....please please send them our way :)