Friday, August 1, 2014

Road To Parenthood

The day we left for vacation, we had a conference call with the fertility doctor to discuss our results and options. Whelp, my AMH came back waaay lower than he expected, in fact he stated my ovary is like a 40 year old, in a 30 year old's body. My AMH is .33, when in reality is should be about 2 for a healthy gal my age. So...that is the major issue.

With that being said, the no baby discussion on vacay kinda went out the window at times. We didn't obsess over it, buuut we did discuss it.

His opinion was to skip IUI and go straight for IVF. With having such a small amount of egg reserve, he doesn't want us wasting time, because as time goes on the AMH will get lower {obviously}. We knew this might be an option, but honestly in the back of my head, I was really wishing it wasn't.

Sooo...fast forward to my nurse orientation for IVF yesterday. Let's just say I was in shock when I saw the amount. My heart dropped. I think I zoned out for a few minutes. I cannot believe how much this costs. And of course insurance doesn't cover one ounce. Not even one single blood draw. 

What it comes down to is....
$9500...for procedure
$1800...genetic screening, if we choose
$2500-6000...medication, depending if we get assistance through a specific program
$400...anesthesia, not sure why it's not included
$600...a year if we decide to freeze embryos
$all the added ultrasounds and blood work once we are pregnant for the first trimester

Totaling anywhere from $17-20k!! Yes, you read that correctly. Oh and that is just a one time cost. If we had to do it again...it would be that all over again. The fees are due up front or a payment plan of pay half and within the next month pay the other half, which to me is like pretty much it is all due at once.

I went home and explained everything to Tony and needless to say he was in shock too. How can having a baby be so difficult. And expensive with no financial assistance??? We are at a loss. A complete and total loss. I never thought in order to have a child, we would pay thousands and thousands of dollars. 

Yea, we are trying to stay positive, but shit, it's hard! 

And yet I still come back to beating myself up because this is my fault. My body is why we are having issues. My body is messed up and has an ovary like a 40 year old. My body failed us on naturally having a kid. How does this happen?? How does an ovary not produce eggs??? All my other blood work came back fine. The doctor don't know why this has occurred. But it has and we just have to take it as is. 

Yes me we will have good and bad days. Positive and negative days. Crying days. But we want this so badly, and we are ready for all the craziness and physical pain that it brings. 

Being a mom and being a dad are something we have always wanted. We just happened to have a major setback and have to now figure out how to overcome it and move forward. And make being parents our priority.

**My amazing momma and bff, Dawn, set up an IVF donation page for Tony and I...Road To Parenthood. Now more than ever, we need love, support and prayers to make our dreams of being a mommy and daddy come true. I can't thank you all enough for supporting us over these last few years and now the months and years to come. Love you all**
  

12 comments:

Cece said...

Yikes!! I've heard it was that expensive but seeing the break down. Wow. I've heard of couples doing it multiple times (how I don't know). I'm sorry this is happening to you. Try not to beat yourself up too bad. I'm sure that's really hard but your husband loves you anyway and you will figure it out together. : )

Elena Ridley said...

First of all, this is NOT your fault by any means, you have no control over the way that your ovaries developed. Second, yes, it's very expensive and I wish that everyone could have insurance because the costs are completely devestating. Hopefully you will end up with some embryos to freeze so that you would only have to pay that full cost once and then use the frozen if necessary. I am happy to donate to your cause because I understand how much you want this, you're just like me!

Maran (HeyHawleywood) said...

You are one of the most positive people I know! This is shitty news but you and Tony are made to be parents. The money is hard to swallow but you have a lot of love and support and it will happen. This is not your fault friend! Don't beat yourself up. Lots of love from NC.

Sara Lynn said...

I truly hope the IVF will work for you guys, ya'll deserve to be parents! I donated what I could but I wish I could help more! I pray everything will go amazingly and keep your heads up!

Rebekah said...

I am so sorry there isn't better news. I'm praying for you and I know that cost break down seems overwhelming. Do they do any kind of bundles for the rounds? I know at the clinic we went to one round was 9500 but then extra for testing and freezing or 16000 for 2 rounds that included freezing. I'm praying my heart out for you because you guys will make the best parents!

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples said...

Hi there. This my first time to your blog. Looking forward to following your journey to baby. I know the costs can be shocking. We are finally pregnant on our 4th IVF attempt with donor eggs and we're into this baby for about $125,000 over the past 3 years. So I get it. Believe me. I hope your path is not too rough and IVF works for you the first time. Hugs!

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