A year ago today, 7/2/2014, Tony and I had our first appointment with our fertility doctor, read about it here. A year ago!!! In some ways it seems like just yesterday and in others in seems like a lifetime ago.
All the appointments, blood draws, needle pokes, pills, shots, pain, everything to get to this point. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. Definitely not something for the weak.
When you finally get to the point of seeing a fertility doctor, you pretty much give up your sanity. You give up the fact that you hate needles. That you hate getting your blood drawn because they can never find your veins. But you hold on tight to the fact that you want a family. You thrive on the fact that you want to bring a little one into this world with your spouse. You want to have that American Dream of being parents. Whether it happens to be to only one kid or five kids, you want it. You want to know the feeling of being a parent. Watching someone rely on you. Watching their personality flourish. See them develop into part you and part your spouse, but ultimately their own person. That's why you throw all your 'issues' and phobias out the window and just push through.
I remember the first time Tony gave me my shots. I got hot and sweaty and nervous. The shots go right into your lower abdomen. Then later into your ass. It's not comfortable. Its unnerving. It's painful. But again, totally worth it when you see the words PREGNANT on the at home pregnancy test (that your doctor actually told you not to do, but you're too impatient).
Pushing through is obviously so much hard to do than said. Your mind plays tricks on you. Your mind wanders into places it shouldn't. The devil takes over all your thoughts. There are lots of days where there is so much negativity, you just want to give up. Thank God for a loving husband and amazing family and friends to keep your spirits high.
We have been through so much over this past year, well and the years prior. But to think any day now we will be welcoming our little baby girl. Our miracle. It is such an amazing blessing. An amazing gift and opportunity we have been given. To say we are excited, well that doesn't even explain it to the fullest.
We are going to be parents to a little girl....I'm certain she will be a daddy's girl to the fullest.
I took a belly shot almost every week....so here is the belly progress. I feel like some weeks it's bigger and others it's smaller. So incredible what the human body can do.